Liu Xiaobo: Living in Truth and Paying the Price

The “People’s Republic of China (usually abbreviated by Rosie O’Donnel as Ching Chong Ching Chong Land), a pivotal support mechanism for the United States retail industry, was the first place in the world created by God, otherwise known as Chuck Norris. China is known as “birthplace of everything”. Everything was invented in China first, including the Television, Internet, Bad Driving, Toilets, Paper, Cheese, Industrial Pollution, Fear, Mexicans, Existence, Bird Flu, SARS, Heterosexuality, Gunpowder, Astronauts, Jews...you name it, they invented it before anyone else.

But let's talk about something else China is specifically known for these days.....CENSORSHIP! That's right. How many people has China silenced? How many people have disappeared for their criticism of the Chinese government? Lest I say too much come Monday you may be wondering where FreeNDreezy be? Am I right?!

Liu Xiaobo, 2010 Nobel Prize winner, is spending 11 years in prison for speaking out against the Chinese government. Liu Xiaobo first came to be known when he took part in the 1989 protests in Beijing's Tiananmen Square. He was given an 11-year prison sentence in December 2009 for inciting the subversion of state power, a charge which came after he co-authored a document known as Charter 08. The document calls openly for political reforms in China, such as a separation of powers and legislative democracy.

Separation of powers? Legislative democracy? Wow, Liu Xiaobo's got me shaking in my boots.....NOT! We all know that The People’s Republic of China has often been at odds with the American Empire, but ever since 1972 the two countries have grudgingly met together for an annual gift exchange and a hand job. But not anymore! I cannot stand by and watch Liu Xiaobo be silenced for being pro-democracy because we all know good ole America is all about democracy...right?

So here's the plan: I, FreeNDreezy, will dress up as Liu Xiaobo, fly to China and continue to spread his message of peace and democracy. Therefore I've done some research to prepare myself for this journey because it is crucial that I not be recognized.

Important Chinese Proverbs to remember:
Virginity like bubble, one prick all gone.
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
Man who scratches ass should not bite finger nails.
Baseball is wrong, man with four balls cannot walk.
It take many nails to build crib but one screw to fill it.
Man who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs.
Man who farts in church sits in own pew.
Crowded elevator smells different to midget.

Now that I am armed with the know-how of Chinese proverbs, I only need to learn how to use a sewing machine and get myself a getaway fixed up Honda/Acura. I suspect that once I get there I will look, speak and act just like Liu Xiaobo, who I suspect looks something like this:



Ok ok, enough fun, but in all seriousness, Liu Xiaobo is being held for simply having different ideas than the powers that be. The Charter 08 movement is not an organization which threatens the Communist party's grip on power in any way. It is only a symptom that in many circles, the idea of real democracy is growing. People from all walks of life admire his courage and his consistency and it is only just that we call for his freedom from the hands of the Chinese government.




"I dedicate this prize to all those lost souls who have sacrificed their lives in non-violent struggle for peace, democracy and freedom." – Liu Xiaobo

Thanksgivings Forgivable Sin: Gluttony

There are few holidays where it is appropriate to wear your over sized sweat pants and jock strap (if you're kinky like that) to the dining table. Thanksgiving trumps almost all holidays in my heart. Why you ask? Well...food of course. Every year I sit around the table with the people I love (and the few that I hate) to drown ourselves in gravy bowls and stuffing. Nothing tops the feeling of loosening your pants so the extra 3 inches of belly fat that you have accumulated from eating for 5 straight consecutive hours can get a little breathing room...you feel me?

Thanksgiving is about love, friendship, appreciating what really matters in this world....over sized foam fingers and the like. Anyway, so this Thanksgiving since I'm new to the blogging world, I figured I would simply write a list of the things I have been most thankful for in 2010. I hope you enjoy and please feel free to comment with the things you are thankful for...

1. Justin Bieber
2. My wit...beyond comprehensible for some
3. The Macy’s Parade. Giant cartoon balloons and Broadway stars… where else can you get that combination!
4. Zippers (foils pickpockets)
5. Pauly Shore has stopped making movies
6. Non-acid rain
7. The platypus; I get an instant grin just thinking about this wacky animal
8. Hulu second to DVR/Tivo...gotta get my Real Housewives in (which I am thankful for as well by the way)
9. Phone/Skype/GChat Sex
10. Red wine, red wine and for those of you that personally know me, red wine.
11. Dishwashers. God Dammit I haven't lived with one of these magical creatures in my house for 4 years now....
12. Pugs. There's nothing cuter than a smashed up dog face.

13. Funny cat pictures
14. Dead Baby Jokes. I know, I'm sick in the head.
15. Helen Keller Jokes....come on! They're fricken knee slapping funny
16. Double Rainbows..."a double rainbow! wow! wow! oh my god! oh my god!" (crying).
17. Lazy Sundays. I personally call them hung over/withdrawal Sunday...until I begin drinking again around 3pm.
18. I still like kids with afros, but have come to not like dreadlocks, I’m so glad that love is hair independent.
19. That I don’t mind a juice box every now and again
20. 420
21. Days I don’t have to shave which is pretty much everyday.
22. Days I don't have to shower....which is pretty much everyday
23. Having a job that doesn't require one bit of math.
24. Having to blow my nose with a towel at work because cut backs limit Kleenex use.
25. Reading a novel from cover to back and then realizing it was the worst piece of shit you've ever read, but you're still proud of yourself because you read a book.
26. Conan's return to late night (thanks for that one Reed!)

27. Having a Taco Bell combined with KFC a block away from my house.
28. Seeing my dads ass crack whenever he tries to fix something...endless entertainment.
29. Scaring the shit out of my grandfather all those times. Like literally, the shit!
30. Twitter. I know you all need/want to know what I'm doing 24/7.
31. Good happy hour prices...there's nothing more important than getting ur drunk on early and for cheap.
32. Ellen DeGeneres. Finally a real live lesbian!
33. Getting to sit at the adults table. Obviously someone had to die for me to move up to a plate.
34. Good pick-up lines. Example: "If your right leg was Thanksgiving,..."
35. Having very few vegan friends (Chelsea). I have had vegan Thanksgiving of tofurkey and soy gravy. And it's not to say that Thanksgiving will ever justify the genocide of the Native Americans. But vegan Thanksgiving -- that's just spitting on the graves, isn't it?
36. Warm baths. I'll be so fat after Thanksgiving I'll fill up the bath tub before I even turn on the water...and damn straight am I looking forward to it!

37. Jersey Shore. I've never felt more classy and dignified after watching this show. Then I went and stole candy from a baby. Good times.
38. Mayonnaise. Oh and sandwiches. (Kyndel)
39. Right to freedom of speech. I saw the family recently. Everybody's angry at me because, apparently, I outed my cousin during an argument over a turkey leg. He goes, 'You had the last leg.' I was like, 'Shut up, Billy. You're gay.'
40. Homeless people who yell obscenities.
41. Chelsea Handler. No one makes you feel less like a slut than someone who is 10x sluttier than you.
42. Construction workers who tell you that you have a nice ass. Come on people we all need a compliment every once in awhile!

43. Funions. We've all tried 'em. They are gross, but for some reason I just can't put them down until I've ate the whole bag.
44. Stinky Cheese parties
45. Internet sites that help you get "donations" for boob implants
46. Craigslist. Nothing says holiday cheer like a little human trafficking.

47. Yo Gabba Gabba. Babysitting technique #1: Put a kid in front of that shit and they'll shut up for hours.
48. Flash mobs.
49. Trampolines (except that one time I got double bounced, rolled down a hill and almost broke my neck).
50. People who follow/read my blog. I love you biotchs! FreeNDreezy for life!

So there's my list. It's been a good year. I'm looking forward to deep throating some pinot and finally getting the big half of the wish bone this year (I plan to break it with myself, that way I'm sure to win).

What are you thankful for?

$$ Dollar Day $$

If horse-racing is the sport of Kings, how come there are no famous royal jockeys?

Nothing beats being able to gamble legally outdoors and pissing off PETA people at the same time. I drive by this place all the time and finally had the decency to show my face on dollar Sunday and gamble, watch the horses run around every half-hour, drink one dollar Bud light, eat one dollar hotdogs (effin' disgusting by the way - much better at Ikea), and listen to some band sing the classics such as "I like big butts and I cannot lie....." And on this day there were many.

So ya, I went to Golden Gate Fields for their dollar day special and to win some big money on the horses. GGF is the perfect destination for a rebellious Christian that also happens to be a gambling alcoholic. $1 to enter, $1 hot dogs, $1 beers and $1 water (but who would buy water when you can buy beer?)...and boy do those dollars add up.

Now, I don't know how to bet on horses. After about 6 beers, i.e. $6.00 (and a $1 hotdog or two to the face), I was a pro. I like to choose horse 2 because 2 is the only even prime number, and I am a "hardcore gambler." Sometimes horse 3 will get some wagers from me because School House Rock says that "3 is a magic number." Pick a number, walk up to the window, hand some cash to the lady, slur your speech, grab your bet receipt, sit and watch.

But seriously it's not as easy as it may look though. First, there's math involved! Like real math people! Who understands odds? Cause I need a tutor. Second, you have to maneuver your way around a complicated computer system just to bet, and it has all these complicated names for the wins like trifecta (sounds like a bone in my leg...oh wait that's tibia). Finally, you have GOT to bring binoculars because I could not see anything. I mean the horses look so big when you are watching the owners show them, but the next second their racing on the other side of the field and they look like mini-poodles.

All in all though, I thought the experience was magical. An old time tradition, the sport has been around since origins among the prehistoric nomadic tribesmen of Central Asia who first domesticated the horse about 4500 BC. For thousands of years, horse racing flourished as the sport of kings and the nobility. Modern racing, however, exists primarily because it is a major venue for legalized gambling. And you can tell....people be addicted there yo! I won $6.40 on a horse named Legalize It only to bet my entire winnings on a horse named One Way Ticket to the Glue Factory who wiped me clean. The most addicted people bet on other tracks around the country too....intense. By the end of the day you are far from sober, down on your luck, and need that cheesy rendition of "Don't Stop Believing," so that you can carry on with your day.

I would defiantly suggest trying it once at least. The jockeys may be short, but they all have really cute butts. Also, those big floppy hats you get to wear are adorable might I add. My biggest suggestion is bet big to win big! That and, always go for the cutest name ;) I WILL BE BACK GGF YOU JUST WAIT.

Halloween 2010

It's that time a year again people, Halloween! A time when parents encourage their little boys to dress like girls and their little girls to dress like whores.

I'll never forget how we used to walk 10 miles to the rich neighborhood just to get the best candy...extra large snicker bars, pumpkin shaped chocolate boxes, MONEY. Ya those were good times. Of course my mom always had to "check" the candy for razor blades and poison which pissed me off. I knew you were just trying to get to my candy mom. I never understood that. Ok so you can die of poisoned Halloween candy, and I have to sit here watch you die AND eat my candy....it just doesn't seem right. And what was with that one piece of candy a day rule? If I wanted to spend my post Halloween day regurgitating Kermit the frog shaped lolly pops, well that was my prerogative...I earned that candy fair and square!

Then there was middle school. The awkward stage. 7th grade I went as a baby with a big butt (see picture). We were trick-or-treating and I saw a guy I liked walking with another group so I run over to talk to them. The next thing I know I've lost my group. Well of course I go looking for them and they are no where to be found and I'm lost in a neighborhood I don't know with a big butt. Finally I found my way back to their parents house only to discover they had informed the police and gone door to door trying to find a baby with a big butt. My hormones were already getting the best of me back then.

High school, oh this is when it got good and fun, especially when we got our licenses. We would drive around and flash our lights on trick-or-treaters and then all hop out of the car and shaving cream them. God...I was mean. Let's see my best Halloween outfit in high school had to be when I went as an Asian (Kim Shepard). "I Kim. I work nail salon. You want toes done? Yes Yes you want toes done. Sit Sit I do you."

Then college...oh that's when they teach you that no, you can't go as the frumpy over sized clown anymore, you must cut up the entire outfit, semi tie it over your boobs and ass and throw on a good pair of stripper heels. We went as football players (booty shorts and a tied up jersey), cave women (leopard fabric tied around our private parts) and of course I have definitly had my fair share of going as a prostitute. Yes, that's right, a straight up prostitute. I have a character to go along with it and everything

Me: (said in a slur) "50 bucks. I'd give ya a discount but I got mouths to feed....you don't know me..."

Halloween has seen some good times, but maybe it's time to grow up. Maybe it's time to wait by the door and actually hand our candy to those precious little children....wait what? FUCK THE CHILDREN! I hate beggars! You want me to give you candy for FREE! What do you think this is? A freaking soup kitchen.

This year I plan to stick with my drunken debauchery antics. Now all I have to decide is to go as Snookie or Kesha? What are your plans?

I like totes talked to Sehethway on my mobile yo!

"There is so much you can do with a mobile phone"

These days who has a land line? Who has a cassette tape record their voicemail? Who doesn't have a touchscreen?! I remember well and am fond of the days of the old Nokia cell phone, playing snake (1) on the back of the bus and praying that my father didn't notice that I went over my limit of 10 text messages a month. I remember being one of the last of my friends to get a cell phone. Let's see, I think I was about 15. I went to the store and got a large poster board and full on prepared a presentation to give to my dad, detailing the essential reasoning of why I needed a cell phone. It was a glorious day when I finally got that phone. Freedom and the sky was the limit!

The other day I was walking the street of my home city of San Francisco. I pass the same homeless man everyday sitting on the corner near my work downtown begging for food/change/beer when I noticed something different about him. The guy was having a full on lengthy conversation on a mobile device not much different than my iphone. I mean what kind of bum can afford a cell phone bill?! Anyway, to each his own, but it defiantly got me thinking.

Furthermore, while I was studying abroad in South Africa I had the chance to go volunteer in a local village where many of the children were the first to be educated in their families. These kids would have to walk, some up to 10 miles, just to get to school which was nothing but an old beat down brick building in the middle of nowhere. Some of the classes were even conducted under trees. There were limited materials and books, much like the western world might expect of an African school I suppose. But one thing that almost every child possessed...a cell phone! With itunes equip and everything! We would find ourselves breaking out into dance parties during recess while listing to the house musics beat illuminating through the speakers of their mobile devices.

And then today I read this: An initiative called mWoman aims to supply millions of women mobiles around the world.
( http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-11492427 )
"The programme, championed by Cherie Blair, the wife of former British Prime Minister Tony Blair, and US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton aims to provide 150 million women around the world with access to mobile phone technology." They argue that not only will access to a mobile phone help create greater quality for women, it will help them increase business and foster communication outside of family lines. In fact they are calling access to a cell phone an "Essential Item". "It can help with literacy. It can help with health programmes and projects and it's a way of helping women develop small businesses and get financial independence."

Ok, so I guess this is all great news. I do agree that having a cell phone gives multiple freedoms that maybe we in the Western world take for granted. However, I'm sceptical about the whole situation. It seems to me that there are a lot more critical issues facing women in this world then access to a mobile device. What about female genital mutilation? Access to clean water perhaps? HIV/Aids? Illegal sex trafficking? Comprehensive education? I mean the list goes on.

Let's hope that Vodocom, AT&T and Verizon can be in tune to the real need of women in third world countries.

Mrs Blair, on the other hand, does make a good point and argues, it is not just the women who would benefit from the initiative. "If you help a woman set up a business, you're not just helping her, you're helping her children and her family. That has a ripple effect on the wider community," she said.

Samanthi in Sri Lanka agrees- she said that the money she earned could go towards her children's education. The potential benefits are not solely financial. Reports suggest 93% of women feel safer because of their mobile phone; 85% say they feel more independent.

Mrs Blair was confident the initiative could achieve results. "If we can reach 150 million women across the world and you multiply the effect of those women reinvesting in their family and in their local community, we are talking a potential transformational effect in development."

Let's see where this goes I suppose. Soon every man, woman and child in this world will be connected through technology. Is this a good thing? Does this foster real relationships? Encourage hard work? Create safety and stability? What do you think?

Texas, Islam and Small pox: The story of the real Fahrenheit 451

Books are evil people. Books fill our brains with sadistic images of a coexistence between cultures and religions! How absurd. I know I don't want my children reading that kind of nonsense. We need an America that preserves the truth of our past! Books that show the reality of what took place in our histories; Pilgrims being forced to eat corn by the Indians, Columbus's unwelcoming to America and dirty Hispanics raging full out war over our precious Alamo Mission.

It is time people to end the brain washing. What kind of message do we want to send to our future generations? That we can live in peace and harmony? Once again, Nonsense! Thank the Lord All Mighty Texans got it right once again! This is Texas and we are proud! Lest us not forget that Texas was the first to enact the crucial law making it illegal to possess realistic dildos. We are clearly at the forefront of creating political stability in America. And once again, we are stepping up to bat for our country.

So what are we suggesting you may ask? It is officially time to enact a bid to rid schools of pro-Islam texts. It is simply outrageous that "some textbooks devote more lines to Islam than to Christianity and print "whitewashes" of Islamic culture." Randy Rives, a businessman and former school official in the Texas city of Odessa clearly explains it best: "We're teaching double the beliefs and specifics about another religion than we are about Christianity, which is the foundation of our country." A-to-the-men Randy!

Censorship, people, is the only answer here. We don't want our children thinking that their little Muslim classmate (let's call him Abdul Basir) on their little league team is someone to associate with? DO WE?! We must remember that Abdul Basir most likely was the mastermind to 9/11 clearly because he wears a turban and his parents work at the local Quickie Mart. He must not be trusted people! And having our children read about any part of his religion or culture will only brain wash them into becoming Islamic terrorists themselves!

So it's time to take a stand. It's time to carry out a real Fahrenheit 451. Am I an expert about the Qur'an you ask? Hell no! And I don't care to be. All I know is that the Qur'an flew itself into our twin towers and only one God will judge it now and that's Jesus Christ, American Bad Ass!








Authors note: The aforementioned opinions are not those of or on behalf of FreenDreezy or any association thereof. Instead they are meant to be sarcastic, funny and scornful to the disgraceful right-winged conservative American people who have the audacity to call themselves Christian.

You can read the full BBC story here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-11402606

Chilean Man Cave

Thirty three men were trapped underground when part of the San Jose mine, in Chile's Atacama desert, collapsed on 5 August. Officials first warned that the chance of finding the miners alive was slim. But contact was eventually made on 22 August when a rescue team's drill probe broke through the area where the miners were sheltering - about 700m below the surface - and they attached a note saying: "All 33 of us are well inside the shelter."

The 33 trapped miners - all Chileans except one miner from Bolivia -have a range of ages, background and experience. But one thing that they have in common: each a lengthy vacation away from their nagging wives in nothing other than a Man Cave! That's right, their very own Man Cave!
The rescuers have sent food and medical supplies, specialist clothing (probably Sean John matching sweat suites), camp beds (Tempurpedic) and other equipment down the borehole to make their lives more comfortable (porn and lube).

They also have designated places for resting, washing and a toilet area. Artificial lighting helps them keep a day and night routine. Hence they are able to sleep all day and play poker at night. And what do they bet during these all out gambling matches you ask? Cigarettes. The trapped Chilean miners have been asking for cigarettes for more than a week. Rescuers will send down two packs a day for the 33 men to share, CNN reports. Until now, the miners had only been receiving nicotine patches and gum; upgrades to the mine’s ventilation improved air circulation, leading officials to allow the cigarettes. That's like upgrading from slot machines to roulette! Lucky bastards!

They have also been demanding such things as "a little bit of wine". What's next? A full service bar? I can only imagine what this place will look like if they stay trapped until Christmas:









Oh and lest it be complete without:


Either way, my heart and prayers go out to the families of the trapped minors, but as to the minors....LIVE IT UP WHILE IT LASTS MEN!